The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize