He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
People in love make me want to vomit
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
