Im at strip club and am horny
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
