the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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