she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
