remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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