A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
