The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize