Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
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Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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