i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize