When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
