Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My bed smells like the plague
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