doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
