I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
