Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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