Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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