i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
