Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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