How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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