remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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