I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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