The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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