What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
