do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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