I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
