I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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