BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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