So drunk its hurt
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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