I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
