Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize