Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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