I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
