I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
