so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
