naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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