The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
