Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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