Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm at about main and main street
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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