Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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