So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
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She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
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Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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