Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
