you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
