Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
