You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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