I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
