I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
