We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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