I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
