Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
and you fell through a lawn chair
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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