I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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