After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
