I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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