His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize