your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just gift wrapped bread.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
