it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
