What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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