I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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