The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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