I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
