I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
