please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize