I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
