why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize