You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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