dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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