my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
