dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
